Clams Casino
- Genre: Abstract
- Time: 04:05
- Released: 8/31/2005
- Label:
- Album: The Pizza War
- Credits: Keith Petrower & Mike Meno
- Artist: Keith Petrower
- Location:
- Sounds Like:
Song Information:
Track 5 of 7 in the spacey rock opera "THE PIZZA WAR," by East Coast college duo The What Ifs. The story and music were created over three weeks in August 2005 by NYU freshman Keith Petrower [vocals/guitar/bass] and Goucher College junior Mike Meno [vocals/drums]. The What Ifs can be contacted at ThePizzaWar@yahoo.com.
Song Lyrics:
Track 05: Clams Casino
Pizza Boy & Vice Principal:
Here we are at Clams Casino
An alien hotel where they play kino
Pizza Boy:
(He hands the pizza box to Wiznitzer, the Gallahads alien with three thousand eyes)
Here you are, sir
Wiznitzer:
You fellows have done a very good thing, and we appreciate it. Brinkleys death was a tragedy and an outrage, but the most important thing is the safety of this pizza. It appears we have beaten Galaxios this time. The pizza is ours, and Voltran will soon give up and depart from the Earth so he can WHAT THE? OH NO! VOLTRAN!!!
Voltran:
You thought this was done
But its only begun
Time for me to have fun
With my gun
Im going to be the first buyer
This food spread like wildfire
For the first galactic fast-food chain empire!
Weve set up shop on Mars
To ship pies to the stars
Your pizza will be ours
Not too far from
Now!
(He begins to release Galaxios most vicious warrior from its cage, or box, or whatever)
Unchain the big thing
Unchain it
Pizza Boy:
(As evil aliens storm into Clams Casino, they begin to fight with the good aliens even before the BIG THING is released.)
Over my dead body will you succeed
Good always wins over evil and greed
Voltran:
Unchain the big thing
Unchain it
The BIG THING:
(It bursts onto the scene and begins tearing up all opposition, skewing the battle heavily into Galaxios favor)
Im the big thing and Im so large
Thats why that guy put me in charge
Im the big thing; I weigh a ton
You will be dead when I am done
Im the big thing and Im so mean
My jaws are like a guillotine
Im the big thing and I crave fresh
I never bathe; my breaths not fresh
Pizza Boy:
Ive got a plan, Vice Principal man
Take some of these
Vice Principal:
(Pizza Boy hands him something)
What are they, fish?
Pizza Boy:
Anchovies
The BIG THING:
(Pizza Boy and Vice Principal have begun throwing anchovies at the BIG THING, aiming to land them in its huge, gaping jaws.)
Im the big thing that they let loose
Im so thirsty anyone got any juice?
Im the big thing, but I hate fish
It is my least favorite dish!
What are these?!
Pizza Boy & Vice Principal:
Anchovies!!!
The BIG THING:
Theyre so gross!
Pizza Boy & Vice Principal:
Now youre toast!!!
Weve slain the big thing
Weve slain it
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